Lily Terhune
October 26, 2014
ProfessorYoung
ENGW 1101
Can Beauty Be Honest?
In today’s media, the meaning of beauty has been transformed to mean that you have to be tall, skinny, and have a pretty face. But when did this change? When did we start viewing each other as beautiful based solely on our looks? When did being beautiful have such high standards? Through this all I think we lost touch on the true meaning of beauty. Beauty is something that is attractive to the eye. Beauty can be honest if it is natural. When we construct beauty into something that isn't true and that is where it becomes a lie.
I believe media is to blame for our misconstrued view of beauty. As a child we are raised to look at the celebrities on tv and want to be exactly like them. In Cameron Russell’s Ted Talks video she talks how media has negatively effected her and her confidence. We see celebrities hair, makeup and bodies and idolize them. But what we see is false, and leads to our distorted view of beauty. Deep down they may not be happy. Beauty is not happiness. Yet, beauty is true and beauty is real. We use all of these man-made products to ourselves behind. When we step back away from all the makeup and hair stuff and when the models step out from under the lights and from behind the camera we become more our true selves.
I believe even though beauty is constructed it does not mean some people may not perceive it as beautiful. Plato said, “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”. Everyone has a different opinion on what they believe is beautiful. Each person will believe different things are beautiful. Its also very beautiful to be confident about yourself so if man-made products are needed for someone to feel beautiful then I think thats okay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM4Xe6Dlp0Y
Lilly, I am going to treat your writing assignment as a proofreading exercise. In order for you to earn an A in my course, you must learn to punctuate your sentences correctly and to clarify your sentences. Try shortening them a bit. It appears that the longer your sentences are the more confusing they become.
ReplyDeleteHere are some examples from your writing that contain errors:
1) When we construct beauty into something that isn't true and that is where it becomes a lie.
2) In Cameron Russell’s Ted Talks video she talks how media has negatively effected her and her confidence. (develop this. what do you mean here?)
3) Beauty is not happiness. Yet, beauty is true and beauty is real. Powerful statement. But what do you mean? Explain.
4). We use all of these man-made products to ourselves behind. (What do you mean here?) Clarify. Explain.
5). Its (wrong form of its. fix) also very beautiful to be confident about yourself so if man-made products are needed for someone to feel beautiful then I think thats okay.
(this is a new idea. never include new ideas in your conclusion. remove it and develop it).
Lily, I think you have good ideas and your images relate to your ideas, but your persistent pattern of error show that you need to master development and writing clearer sentences.
I push you because you're smart and I know you can do the work.
Please fix. Do my comments make sense? Please respond.